Parchments
by dARkcrestproduction
Summary: He couldn’t tell Gwen, nor Gaius, and naturally never Arthur. He could only think of one other option; parchments.
1. Part One

**TITLE: **Parchments  
**GENRE: **Fantasy  
**ORIGIN: **Merlin  
**PAIRING: **Arthur Pendragon x Merlin

**FULL SUMMARY:  
**He could only turn to himself when he could not help but want to tell someone, something, of his thoughts.  
He couldn't tell Gwen, nor Gaius, and naturally never Arthur. He could only think of one other option; parchments.  


* * *

  
Merlin held the quilt in his hand firmly, struggling to find the words. Why was it so difficult to write what you already know in your heart? He chuckled. Now he understood why Gwen suffered so much when she had tried to do the exact same thing he was now. A sigh passed his pale light rosed lips.

He looked down at the empty pieces of parchment set on his table, stacked neatly in a pile, placed between a carefully shut ink bottle and a photoframe on either side of it. Pressing the quilt to the paper, Merlin managed to scribble down two words, but stopped just as he finished the curve on the last letter.

_Arthur is..._

Why was it so difficult? Merlin practically half murdered himself in his head as he sat at his desk, thinking. It wasn't as if he was writing a love confession letter to the prince. No. Far from it. He was just writing down his thoughts. Scribbling down the things he could not tell his guardian and would _never _tell the young prince himself. The blonde wasn't even going to read the pages, for god's sake! So why was he so frighten? More still, _what _was he so frighten of?

"Right…" Merlin murmured. He dipped the quilt into the ink bottle, after opening it of course, and hovered it over the parchment again. "Don't think," he told himself. "Just do it." If not, he probably would never have gotten it over with.

_Arthur is a total and complete prick. Something I knew the moment I first met him all those months ago. He's arrogant and snobbish, thinks himself better than everyone else, especially people like me, and yet receives all the attention of all the girls in the kingdom as well as neighboring kingdoms! _

_I don't understand him. _

_I wash his clothing. I clean after him. I polish his amour. I feed and walk his dogs. I wait on him hand and foot! And has he ever, _ever _murmured a word of thanks? No. Naturally I don't expect him to kneel before me and worship me for all the little things I've done for him. Because that's all they ever were; small things, petty things. Things often taken for granted and forgotten. But still, I did them for him. He could at least say thanks when I do them, or whenever he sees me hauling his stuff behind him and his horse. _

Merlin stopped, read back the words he'd scribbled and was surprised that now, once he'd started, the words seemed to just flow. So long as he doesn't _think _before writing any of it down. "It not a problem then," he grinned. "Gaius always tells me I really don't think sometimes." He laughed thinking of the old man.

It was his suggestion after all to write his thoughts down. 'A good way to vent,' he said.

_I complain to Gwen about him a lot, I've started to realized. More than I should. However, as much as I complain, and grunt, and frown whenever he's near me, I can't seem to hate him either. _

_I don't have a brother. But I get the feeling that if I had Arthur would be one I'd be stuck with. For someone of royal blood he's got a quick tongue and rarely holds himself back with it with people he considers 'peasants'_––_myself included, naturally. If we were brothers, I wonder if I would still feel the same way about him. Would I still hate his guts whenever he creates lists of things for me to do in his head, spats them out at me suddenly, expecting me to remember them on the spot? Would I still feel the urge to kick him whenever he says something so hurtful and humiliating, yet know that if I do so I might as well have written 'kill-me' on my forehead in bright red ink? _

Merlin sighed deeply.

_Would I still wait every morning for him to call for me after he's washed up? Would I listen to him as he talked with the captain of the guard and plan events with his father advisors? Would I still consciously follow him with my stare every time he walks away from me during a banquet? Would I still… want to be his servant, even though he _always _takes me for granted? _

_My answer? _Merlin smiled softly as he wrote slowly; _Most probably._He was indeed hopeless. Nodding at his own neat handwriting, Merlin blew on the last paragraph on the parchment for the ink to die and closed the ink bottle lid. He took the pieces of parchment he had written on and rolled them up, and tied them securely with a string.

He then walked over to the other end of his bedroom, lifted the loose tile floorboard––the place where he always hid his spellbook––and carefully placed them ontop the spellbook, and shut the tile back into place.

He then tucked himself into bed and slept, thinking about what he had written, and _whom _he had been writing about. "Gods…" he breathed, half smiling.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  
I'm only at episode 5 of the series but I've fallen _head over heels_ for the plot. It doesn't follow the normal order of the Merlin tales and the fact that Arthur is young and _cute_ and _sooo_ matching with Merlin... do I need to lay it out in black and white for you? No? Good. Heh. I actually haven't written a fanfiction in many, _many_ months and I'm glad I've got it back. The satisfaction of writing something not because I think that it'll be great, but just to write down images in my head and see my own smile when I read it back to myself. It isn't the best (like I said) and definitely not the longest. I'm not even sure whether it'll become a chaptural fanfic or just a one-shot. But I've got something in my brain spinning at the moment about this. Just have to wait and see if my obsession with Merlin will hold out long enough to tell the full story. Or not. Anyways, comments are deeply welcomed and any helpful criticism is too (just don't go overboard).  


* * *


	2. Part Two

**TITLE: **Parchments  
**GENRE: **Fantasy  
**ORIGIN: **Merlin  
**PAIRING: **Arthur Pendragon x Merlin

**FULL SUMMARY:  
**He could only turn to himself when he could not help but want to tell someone, something, of his thoughts.  
He couldn't tell Gwen, nor Gaius, and naturally never Arthur. He could only think of one other option; parchments.

* * *

"What makes you say that?" Arthur hoarse laugh filled the room. He sat at the edge of his bed, ruffled the sheets as he loosen the strings that tied his boot to him. "I treat him well enough. He should be thankful that I give him my time of day at all."

"Oh please. You treat him no better than a dog would treat an injured cat." Morgana shut the door behind her, striding into the room, sitting herself beside him on the bed. "Especially today," she said slowly. "You didn't have to say that to him, Arthur. It wasn't his fault and no one deserves to be talked to that way. Not even peasants, and especially not Merlin."

Arthur grunted and rose off the bed. "Why do you care so much about him? So I scolded him a bit. So what? He'll get over it. He always has."

"Scolded?" Morgan rolled her eyes. "That's saying it rather faintly. Arthur, you _humiliated _him! Yes, I agree with you that he isn't the smartest of us all, nor is he the strongest, nor most loved. But he is human Arthur and he tries his best at _everything _he does. He does everything you've ever asked him to do, granted, it's never always perfect but at the very least he tries. And how many times has he saved your life? How many times has he counseled you? Listened to you? Warn you when you never listen to anyone else, not even me?"

Morgana watched Arthur's back, breathing unevenly from the sudden rant. She watched him. But he gave no reaction to anything she said. He gazed out the window rather inanimately, hands crossed over his chest, head tilted slightly to the side. If he could, Morgana wondered if he'd sleep like that, standing, just to avoid hearing what he did not want to hear.

He reminded her so much of his father, that it was no longer amusing.

"Arthur…"

For a moment, Morgana felt him flinched as his name was called. He was listening. Good.

"Arthur, he _hated_ you," she told him, her voice deep and coarse, and meaning each word so intensely that even Morgana herself was startled at her own choice of words. "He hated you and he despised you. He wanted nothing to do with you. He hated the way you treated people like him and he thought you were nothing more than a prat…" she paused, sighing. "At least that was how he used to think of you."

She looked up to see his reaction, but she still was faced with only his back.

"The more time he spent with you, the more goodness he saw from you. How kind you were, how you always listened to your heart and did what you think is right––even if it did mean disobeying your father most of the time. And he loved that about you. He began caring for you." Still no reaction. "Damn the hells, Arthur! He thought of you as his dearest friend! His brother!"

"Did I ever ask to be his brother?!" Arthur snapped. "I never asked him to care about me! To think of me as a friend… I never asked him––" He stopped.

Morgana stared at him, startled at his sudden outburst, but mostly stunned, and curious. "What, Arthur? You never asked him what?" She wanted to know. For Merlin's sake, she needed to know. She waited, hand grasping the wooden chair beside her, her stare never leaving the form of his back.

Moments passed that seemed like decades, but he didn't mutter a word after. Minutes raced by, and still he said nothing. Until finally… she gave in.

She let out a heavy sigh and licked the tip of her lip before turning in the direction of the door. She looked back at him one last time before closing the wooden door shut behind her, muttering; "For your sake, you best be careful, Arthur. If this keeps up… he'll start hating you all over again. And this time," she nodded to her own words. "He won't change his mind."

Arthur listened to her footsteps as they faded away. "Damn…"

* * *

Clanking sounds filled the room before he even rustled against the soft sheets on his bed. Arthur groaned loudly, annoyance obvious in the tone of his voice and pulled the red velvety covers over his head. "Keep it down, for god's sakes!" he hissed. "Some of us are trying to sleep!" He half expected the low grunt from Merlin, him rolling his eyes knowing well enough that Arthur hated being disturbed whilst sleeping. Arthur expected him to stride over to the bed, fling the covers off of him and dragged him, feet first, off the bed and haul him to the water basin to wash up and prepare for the day. But he didn't.

"I wish we could all say the same," Guinevere's soft, feminine voice answered him, though her tone was dry and sarcastic. "Not everyone can sleep in till noon in their beds, expecting others to do their work for them. Must be nice being a prince. Very nice," she rambled on.

Arthur listened to her attentively in silence. He had no right to complain, he knew it. Even if he didn't Merlin's absence from his duties this morning told him strongly enough. He didn't bother asking the dark haired girl where the shorter boy was. He doubted she would've even told him if he had asked. But still, he wanted to know.

"Where's Merlin?" he asked, his voice cracking despite himself.

There was a pause, and Arthur grew rigid waiting for her answer. "I don't know," she said finally. He could hear her footsteps heading for the door. "Gaius told me he needed some time alone and ask I help do some of his chores for him. I agreed, naturally. But he never told anyone where he went or when or if he'll be back––"

"When did he leave?" Arthur asked in a demanding sort of voice, now standing by the edge of his bed.

Guinevere stared at him hard, looking into his light blue eyes as if searching for something. Arthur sensed this and tensed, staring back. "Early this morning," she said. "Before Gaius even really woke up. He didn't take anything with him. No food, no water. Just an ink bottle and a few pieces of parchments."

_Parchments?_Arthur raised a brow. _What in the name of hell is he planning to do with just that?_

"I do not know, sire," Guinevere answered, motioning as if reading his mind. Or perhaps it was just his expression that gave it all away? "But I haven't heard news of him at all since yesterday and I'm growing worried." She looked at him then. The stare in her eyes so intense Arthur gulped and swore he took at least two steps back. "If anything happens to him, sire, I will not forgive you." She walked through the door heatedly, her skirt flaring behind her as she carried the tray and plates he ate from the night before.

Even when she turned around the corner of the hallway and vanished from his sight, Arthur heard her voice echoing in his head; _if anything happens to him_. He grabbed his cloak hanging from the wall beside his bedroom door and violently flung it over his shoulders. "You are a dead man, Merlin."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **  
In the end... I decided to continue writing this fanfic! Hahaha. I figured since I'm watching it almost on an hourly basis (thank you holiday!) I should take the initiative to create something productive whilst I can, right? Okay, the plot is kinda... blah right now. Nothing interesting happening but you can tell that Arthur is _very _OOC in this. You think I'm right, right? Right?! _Sigh_. I wrote the beginning half of this chapter whilst watching the episode when Arthur followed Merlin back to his home village and protected it from raiders and then the second half was during the episode Morgana almost killed Uther. So, it kinda explains why Morgana is so concern over Merlin (she did say so during the raider's episode) and why Gwen would never forgive Arthur if anything happens to Merlin (he _is _the only one left in Gwen's life and I don't think she actually forgave Arthur's dad for killing hers yet, so...) At this moment I have _no _idea what's going to happen as the chapters go on. I don't even know how many chapters it's going to be! I'm at the very last episode of season 1 for Merlin dudes! Is there even a season 2?! I hope so!!! Well... I hope you enjoyed what you've read so far. Comments are **_very _**much appreciated. Thank you very much!

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